I don’t know how to react when people wonder why I’m so “religious.” I just feel like they’re missing the point. I’m glad they’re wondering why I’m so “religious” but I don’t think they realize that religion has nothing to do with what I’m involved in. When I think of God, I never think of religion. People have wars over religion; religion divides nations; religion destroys friendships. No. I am not religious. Not at all.
When I think of God, I think of something very real, something intimate, a relationship with which I could never part for I would cease to exist. I realize that saying it’s a relationship not a religion is somewhat cliche, somewhat trite, but I can’t think of a better statement to represent the faulty picture that society has of my God. They don’t see Him as necessary; they see Him as optional, like choosing what brand of soap to use.
“Oh, what brand of soap do you use?”
“Well, I use Olay.”
“Well, I’m glad you use Olay. I use Defense. But it’s totally cool that you use Olay. More power to ya.”
You know what I’m saying? Asking me why I’m religious just doesn’t make sense to me. Religion is every other set of beliefs in the world. This relationship out ranks them all and can never be explained accurately so long as society sees it grouped under the religious umbrella. But I suppose there’s nothing I can really do about that except what I am doing; just savoring the fact that I have an intimate relationship with the King of Kings and that other people can have one too, if they just get past the misconception that this relationship is just like any other belief system. Break away from the system. Believe in something totally unique; the one thing that’s true.
Before I go off on a rant, I’m going to switch topics.
This morning when I went to go to the dorm bathroom to make myself look human again after a long night’s sleep, I opened my door to the hallway to be greeted by a small gray cat trying to enter my dorm room. I’m sure he was at my door specifically because of the residence of Cedric (my sort of pet mouse) inside my room.
If I had thought about it, I would’ve let the cat in so he could catch Cedric and then be on his way, but I still can’t bring myself to kill the little rodent. Even though I knew he’s a pest, he’s behaved himself quite well thus far and not bitten any wires, eaten any food, or gone to the bathroom anywhere, so I don’t see why he has to be exterminated…okay, yes, I do see why…I just…I’m working on it, okay?
Anyway, I gingerly picked up the furry baby and, cradling it in my arms, put it outside the dorm (because the cats on campus aren’t permitted to go inside the buildings for their own safety) where he proceeded to run right back in to the lobby. I once again scooped him up into my arms and put him back outside. This kind of reminded me of when God tries to keep us out of things that are harmful to us but we just keep right on trying to get into them. The cats were once allowed inside the buildings, but one cat drank harmful chemicals from one of the photography department rooms and developed cancerous tumors in its stomach. Ergo, no cats in the buildings. But it seems that even when we’re injured by cancerous tumors or even the smallest of cuts and bruises, we continuously want to go back.
I honestly sometimes wonder how God can possibly think about all of us all the time. His mind is always on us and His thoughts toward us are more numerous than grains of sand (Psalm 115:12, 139:17,18) (GWT) How can He listen and instruct each and every one of His children all at once, all over the world? I know some very talented mothers who I know can’t manage that with the few kids they have. But when I hone in on the fact that, despite His interaction with all His other kids, He treats me like I’m the only one, like I’m the most precious gem to be created within the entire expanse of the universe and beyond. I shine before Him, even when I feel exceptionally dull.
God reminded me today that not everything has to be perfect for me to be able to talk to Him; He reminded me that I can come to Him with my questions, with my doubts, with my arguments, with my praise, with my anger, even with my deepest, darkest, most disturbing thoughts, and He will listen and be my refresher.
I almost didn’t blog tonight because I felt like I didn’t have anything wonderful, comical, or exceptional to blog about. But I think when it comes right down to it, it’s not a matter of having something amazing happen that decides whether I write to you or not; it’s a matter of realizing that I need to write, I need to make an account of each day, to show that even the most uneventful, mundane, simple days of life are still important.