Sometimes I have to wonder why on earth I’m in this place. How could I, as one small town Christian girl, make a difference in the big bad world that is New York City? How can I possibly change the atmosphere of my campus? How can I do this?
It’s days like these when I am shown just why I’m here.
This morning started off kind of rough. There are workout classes during the same time as Bible study and I decided to make the study later so we could go to the classes and still have fellowship afterward. But then people kept bringing up things and sort of making excuses which I took personally. I became frustrated because I felt like not only were they putting things above digging into God’s word but also looking for reasons not to come. So, I was totally missing the point of Bible Study….again. The point of Bible Study is to fellowship with other Christians, to encourage each other, to help each other dig around in the Word of God so that we can get to know Him better together. Bible Study is an opportunity, at least in this circumstance.
I went through the morning, frustrated about this situation, and it was a Monday, AND I was exhausted; I was pretty much just letting my emotions run me. I prayed that I would focus on what I need to do rather than focus on how I feel. Then I got an email telling me I had a package in the mail.
Oh, great, another textbook. I thought to myself.
The sender of the package was THE SWISS. Who could that possibly be? I had never heard of a book company called The Swiss. I went to the mail office and asked for my package. The guy behind the counter brought out this thick, red and white striped box with pictures of Christmas presents on it.
“What is that?” I asked out loud. He smiled and railed off a list of possibilities. When I got a better look at it, I realized that it was a package of gourmet chocolate fudge cake balls from The Swiss Colony. There was a small message underneath my mailing address that said, “Enjoy with your friends! Love Grandma and Pop!”My smile was huge.
I brought the box back to my dorm and did exactly what my grandparents told me; I shared them with my friends. I dramatically walked down the hallway, singing “I got chocolate fudge cake balls in the mail and have been instructed to share them!” As I passed them around to my friends, dorm neighbors, and roommate, we all enjoyed the chocolatey goodness with exaggerated exclamations and wide eyes. It was a total girl moment.
It was a total God thing. He didn’t have to give me chocolate when I was being emotional, but He did, just to show that His timing is perfect.
But this perfect moment is not what reminded me of my purpose here. The knock that came at my door as I was getting ready to go to bed was the defining moment.
I opened the door to see Karly standing in front of me, her eyes swelled and red from crying.
“I just need some Christian something right now.” She said.
I stopped what I was doing and walked to her dorm room where she voiced her frustrations and fears to me. She explained that she didn’t know why she was here; she couldn’t feel God anymore; she felt outnumbered and afraid; she didn’t know what God wanted her to do.
Wow, sounds familiar, huh?
Once she finished, God spoke through me and comforted her in the way that only He can manage. Through my voice He also gave me the answers and the encouragement that I’ve been asking for lately. Through my encouraging of Karly, God reminded me that we are made to live day by day. God is the only One who knows the future, and He expects us and requires us to wake up each morning, ready to do whatever He needs us to do THAT DAY. Not yesterday, or the next day, or the day after that, but today. He reminded me that even if we don’t do what He asks, He can still use our situation to further His kingdom; He is totally flexible. He also reminded me that, even though I am only one person, He can use me to encourage just one person, two people, or even a hundred people. He used me tonight, and I am so glad He did. Never have I felt so encouraged by encouraging someone else.
After our long talk, I prayed for Karly and for me, that we would be sensitive to God’s leading and that we wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed by our own emotions. I finished praying and we talked a little while longer. I played mother hen and asked her how much sleep she had gotten in the past few days (not a lot), what she had been eating and if she’d been eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner (her diet consisted of peanut butter, yogurt, and ice cream), how much coffee she had consumed (she was going through slight withdrawal while trying to ween herself off of it), and how much water she had been drinking as of late (a fair amount). I know that when I’m upset, spiritually or otherwise, I appreciate when my mom points out my areas of weakness so that I can see how certain things effect my emotions. I’m so grateful that she taught me to be aware of my body before jumping to conclusions about my emotions.
For a Monday, today was pretty awesome 🙂 I love the fact that even though everything else may seem really intimidating and may be in a continual state of change, God never changes. He is the one thing that never runs out, never moves, and never gives up. When our emotions become more real than our God, and we feel as if He is far away, we can be sure that He is not the one who moved: it was us.
“The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.” –Proverbs 18:10