Caffeine is the uncontrolled variable in my life.
I had to get up early this morning, so I made a point of drinking my caffeine (which happened to be an amazingly delicious cup of sweet harvest pumpkin tea) at seven so I wouldn’t be in danger of staying up all night. Well, my roommate has been doing the whole staying-up-until-two-in-the-morning thing again, so even though I was really good about not drinking caffeine, I was still awake. I got up at one point to get something and I was thirsty. My mug was sitting on my desk, filled with a small amount of tea. Not even thinking, I drank it and then climbed back into bed. Suddenly I was no longer drowsy, but wide awake. I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t able to go to sleep…then I realized what I had done.
I did wake up in time, however, to get to where I needed to be. Anita and I were going “soul-winning” with a lady named Jenny from our church. Now, I’ve never been for going door to door handing out tracts and witnessing to people….personally, it just sounds way too much like the practices of Jehovah’s Witnesses. So as we head out, I’m wondering how on earth this is going to work out and how people are going to react to us.
Well, I learned a thing or two today.
First of all, I learned that people are searching for answers; they’re desperately reaching for something worth holding onto. Anita witnessed to two people, and both of them looked like their minds had been blown from the inside out, inundated by some insane truth that had never passed through their mind so sweetly. Jenny witnessed to two people as well. One of them was a tall boy, not much older or younger than myself. He got saved.
HE GOT SAVED!!!
After Jenny prayed with him, I jumped for joy and shouted, “Dude! You just got saved!” with a huge smile on my face. He smiled, obviously filled with joy as well.
I’m still not sure if I’m comfortable with “soul-winning” but my eyes were definitely opened today. I was shown that city people are much friendlier than they seem, that most of their severity is made up of my own fear and foolishness. God showed me so much beauty that I had been missing because of fear of the unknown. Go figure.
Jenny was a blessing and treated me to Dunkin’ Donuts for lunch (which I very much appreciated since I am indeed a poor college kid). I got a chicken salad sandwich, a jelly donut, and a salted-caramel hot chocolate. While the two of us were eating, a man came up to us asking for change.
Walking to church has been making me sad lately; I’ve seen some homeless people sleeping on benches in Prospect Park. I can’t stand seeing people that way…it’s just not fair. I made a point of carrying a little change in my purse ever since. It was perfect though, when he came up, because not only did I have change, but I had my jelly donut left.
“For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.” This phrase ran through my head and I, without a second thought, gave the man my donut, genuinely wishing it were more.
I spent the rest of my Saturday with Jenny and one of her housemates Rebecca (who is actually a new friend of mine). I went to their house, baked dark chocolate cupcakes with purple frosting, had chicken tacos, washed dishes, and watched Muppet Treasure Island. That movie, is so funny. It was much needed 🙂
When I came back to my dorm, I was able to Skype with one of my awesome friends 😀 I know I say this a lot, but talking with Christian friends is so relaxing and refreshing, because I don’t have to put my guard up, especially when those friends make a habit out of encouraging me.
Today, once the day was done, sitting back and realizing all that had transpired, God awakened me to some crazy truths that I haven’t been reminded of in forever:
I have hope. I have joy. I have something that a lot of the world doesn’t have. I have understanding. I have trust. I have belief. I have faith. I have peace. I have love.
I am not bound by chains of my past, or destroyed by fear of my future. I am not barred by the prison of my heart, or held captive by the thoughts of my mind. I am not a normal person, or an insignificant speck on the window of the world. I am not shirked of my freedom, or denied my rights. I am not alone, or lost and wandering. I am not worthless, hopeless, purposeless, or distraught.
I am a child of the One True King. I am an adopted princess of the Most High, standing beside my brothers and sisters in this epic war of life. I am protected by the most indestructible force known to man, known to the world, known to the universe, known to time. I am divinely appointed to share the gospel with those that I love and with those that I have a hard time loving. I am a sinner, redeemed by the One True Savior. I am a mess, cleaned up and polished by the Holy water that is Christ’s blood. I am the light of the world and the salt of the earth. I am a soldier, fighting with a God who has destined me to win. I am a runner, running the race of life with the knowledge that God is not only running with me, but He is waiting to carry me when I fall, waiting at the beginning, the middle, and the end. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I am loved by the One who created love, the One who is love incarnate.
I have been shielded by the arrows of Satan, checked by the loving encouragement of my fellow Christians, my fellow soldiers. I have been dragged from a pit in which I was content to stay forever. I have been given new life. I have been saved by the amazing grace of my God. I have been called to resist the secular assault on my heart and on the hearts of others. I have been gifted with many talents, all of which are to be used to fight this spiritual war. I have been invited to, not only fight valiantly and courageously, but also to partake in eternal happiness and joy that makes waking up every morning feel like a gift, a party, something worth being excited about. I have been introduced to the One who could not be contained by death, conquered by Satan, or defeated by sin. I have been blessed beyond words, loved beyond comparison, adored beyond measure.
You, my sister, my brother; if you are reading this and you are saved, these truths apply to you. If your heart is weary, know that you were made to be carried. If your life feels like a failure, know that you are destined to be victorious. If your world feels like it’s falling apart, know that God is the Ultimate Healer, the One with a PhD in bringing things back together, in reconciliation.