Lesson of the day: an adequate amount of sleep is important. I repeat: an adequate amount of sleep is important.
I woke up this morning with a pounding headache and a heavy heart. Proper sleep is something I haven’t been giving my body for the past couple of days. I’ve been working on my World Literature term paper, and I’ve added two other major projects to my “to do” list. But hey, it’s college. 🙂 I really do need to fix the sleep thing though….but I don’t think I’m going to pull an all-nighter to fix my cycle. That didn’t really work the first time I tried it…
ANYWAY. This morning I wasn’t entirely sure what to read in my Bible, considering I had finished Revelation. I decided to re-read John thirteen. This chapter is all about when Jesus washes the disciples’ feet at the Last Supper. I love how Peter is depicted in this chapter. When Jesus comes around to Peter’s feet, Peter says, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” Jesus answers him with, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Woah, Peter! I just think it’s crazy that, considering Peter’s addressing Jesus as ‘Lord’, Peter would refuse him so ardently. But I understand why he said this: I think Peter was saying something along the lines of “You are too great and I am too low for you to be washing my feet.” But Jesus comes back with this, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.” In other words, Jesus was saying to Peter, that if Peter didn’t allow him to be a servant, like he would ask his disciples to be later on, then Peter would not partake in the symbolization of Jesus’ blood washing away his sins. That was the whole point of Jesus coming to earth, to be a servant. Every time I think about that it drives me up a wall. God didn’t come to wave His power around…I mean, He was glorified through miracles, but that wasn’t the point. God came to earth to be a servant to sinful, hateful, and destitute people. Through His servant-hood, He was glorified.
I love Peter’s reaction to Jesus’ reasoning. “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!” Once he heard that he was like, “Soak me, man!” Sometimes it’s really difficult to be a servant, to wash other people’s feet, especially, like when Jesus washed the feet of Judas, when they’re people who betray, lie to, despise, and disrespect you. It’s difficult to be a servant to someone who expects to be served, but God somehow made it possible, somehow made it important. I sometimes wonder why God chose Judas to betray Jesus…why was it him and not any other disciple? Many other ‘why’ questions stem from this one, like “Why did God put the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Garden of Eden?” “Why did Jesus have to be crucified? Could there have been some other way?” “Why did God create man?” But then I realize that when it comes to the ‘why’ questions, I often don’t ever get an answer. This, for some reason, makes me feel at peace, knowing that despite all of my unanswered questions, I can ask God whatever question I want and know that He’s listening. I understand that I don’t need to know these answers, but I also understand that I have the freedom to ask these questions. These questions are similar to ones like, “Why did God have me come to Pratt?” “Why is this happening?” “Why is that happening?” And so on. Honestly, I might never know, but it’s okay, because God knows, and He’s the only One who can really do anything important with the information anyway. I am simply a curious child 🙂
The headache from waking up didn’t go away, so I went to World Literature in a fog, trying to get myself to focus. I talked to God, praying for different people and asking Him to help me focus, or at least stay awake for the day. Thankfully, World Lit. and Writer’s Forum passed by very quickly. After Writer’s Forum I got an email from Ginny L. Yttrup.
Allow me to explain.
Last night I was working on a chapter of my book, and I wasn’t sure if I should allow a secular character to swear (I thought that if she did she would be more defined) considering it’s a Christian book, written for a Christian audience. Also, I just don’t swear; I don’t like reading dialogue decorated with swear words. So I asked the only people I thought would know the right thing to do: Christian authors. I emailed several with the question, and have gotten one reply. Ginny L. Yttrup is the author of Words, Invisible, and Lost and Found. I’ve only read Words, and I really liked it…it made me cry, laugh, gasp, and smile, all the things a good book should do. I would highly recommend reading it. Anyway, Yttrup emailed me back and explained that, depending on who my target audience/market was, that’s who I should be consulting: if it’s the Christian market, I should use words they would deem appropriate; if it’s the secular market, I can use whatever words I want. This was extremely helpful, and I’ve decided to take out the swear word.
Welcome to the writing life, where a comma makes all the difference and one word can change the entire voice of a book.
For Critical Thinking & Writing I have been assigned my final project. I have to conduct an investigation of the self, what it means to have a self, and construct a self. When I think of “the self” I think of one’s identity. The thing is, I’ve found my identity. The big questions that plague so many people—“what’s my purpose in life?” “who am I?”—have already been answered for me. I know who I am in Christ; I am an adopted daughter of the King of the Universe. In the words of Jamie Grace, “I’m a God girl, that’s who I be, from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. No, I can’t deny it, wouldn’t even try; I’m Your girl in a crazy world.” So investigating these questions of the self is difficult for me because I’m complete. God has completed me with His perfect love.
I walked out of class thinking, “How am I supposed to investigate the self?” Then I got this great idea. My professor said we needed to use a cultural avenue discussed in class as inspiration or as an argument. Well, we’ve talked about scripture plenty of times. So why not make an argument for how God sees the self?
I’ll let you know how that goes 🙂
Next week is spring registration, which means I’m almost halfway through my freshman year of college….wow. I’m hoping to meet with my academic advisor tomorrow, but I’m not sure how that’s going to work out. Completely off-topic, I’ve really been missing my home lately, and I’m glad Thanksgiving is in a couple of weeks 🙂
A few days ago, one of my Facebook friends posted this: “If you’re struggling with knowing who Christ really is, you can be sure that He is something real in a world of fake.” How true! It’s amazing that people say God doesn’t exist when He’s the realest thing in all existence. It makes me wonder if people even know what “real” is anymore. The “real reality” is that all of us are searching for God and His love, whether subconsciously or with all our confidence and ambition. We all know, deep down, that there’s got to be more to life than the superficial themes we chase after every day of our lives…at least I’d like to think that. Some people find God, find hope, find meaning, find fulfillment. Others give up and settle for something less than the best. But God is THE best. He is it. He’s totally out of our league. He’s out of my league. But He is mine, and I am His…what? How can that be?
It sounds like some kind of fairytale…but it’s not
It’s reality 🙂
“The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.” —1 Corinthians 2:14