This morning I realized again how important a good night’s sleep is.
I went to bed at about nine last night and was able to wake up two hours before my first class. During this time I was able to really sit down and write to God about everything that was on my heart, everything that was bothering me or that I couldn’t figure out by myself. Yes, I’d been doing my devotions every morning and writing to God in my journal, but I hadn’t been able to really write to Him in what feels like forever. I felt ten times better afterward.
It was really difficult to walk back into Word, Usage, & Style this morning after what happened last week, but I did it anyway, knowing that hiding from my professor and my classmates wasn’t going to help anything. I reminded myself that they weren’t the enemy. My classmates and I were sitting around and talking (I was actually reading) when my classmate next to me whispered that he was sorry if he had offended me last week. He had felt really bad about it. I was really surprised to hear this, but I reassured him that he hadn’t offended me in any way.
The thing is, the ‘attack’ that happened last week had nothing to do with me. I mean, yeah, it really hurt my feelings and I felt really afraid, but that’s because I’m human. The first part of Psalm chapter 51, verse 4 says, “Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight..” (NIV) While I’m not saying I know where my classmates and professor stand with God, I do know that their beef is not at all with me, but with Him, and God is completely capable of taking care of Himself. Was I offended? No, not at all, at least not the way people become offended over everything these days. Was I hurt? Yeah, a bit, but again it’s not about me.
I spent lunch in the library, slaving away at my term paper which is nearly half-way finished. Writer’s Studio was spent discussing Elect Mr. Robinson for a Better World….this book…wow. It’s really messed up and insane and it makes you wonder if literature hasn’t all become some kind of outlet for crazy people, which, when you think about it, might be very possible. Over all it was a pretty enjoyable class. After Writer’s Studio, I went and grabbed dinner, sitting in the pizza shop eating food and reading. While I had been standing and waiting for my pizza, a group of girls next to me warned me of a cockroach by my foot. I looked down and surely enough a large bronze insect was crawling towards my foot. So, not thinking twice, I picked up my foot and brought it down with as much force as I could muster. Then I took a napkin, picked up the remains, and threw them away. This would be the second cockroach I’ve killed since I arrived in New York City.
Cockroach Colony living under New York City thriving off of discarded pretzels and hot dogs: 0
Charlene walked in and we hung out for a while, eventually heading back to my dorm room. I had to do some things for Botany and she seriously needed to sleep. I threw one of my pillows on the floor and gave her a blanket and a juice box and she clocked out.
Speaking of Botany! Today was the last day of class! 😀 It’s hard to believe that the first semester is almost over. Today was weird though because we really dug into evolution. There’s a stereotype floating around about how Christians don’t care or don’t know much or anything about science…while I don’t want to say that’s true, I can say it’s rather common. I really wish I was a scientist so I could explain Creationism better in comparison to evolution. Right now I know a little about evolution and a little bit about Creationism. The problem is that I am just not a science person. I know how to ask questions, but I have no idea how to offer solutions.
For example: my professor was talking about how the origin of the flower structure came from a prehistoric fern. What I understand from evolution is that one thing changes into another, right? Well, if ferns formed the first angiosperms, then why are there still ferns present in the world today? It’s kind of like humans and primates. How could humans have evolved from primates if there are still primates present in the world today? This doesn’t make any sense to me. What makes sense is mutation and how animals change appearance because of genetic diversity. Another question I have is how did people and animals evolve from a one-celled organism without a conscience or a soul and then suddenly acquire a sense of right and wrong? This was something Greg Epstein was talking about in his argument on Sunday night during his debate with Tim Keller. He kept talking about coming from the Big Bang and all of what that entailed, but there was a huge gap between the beginning he presented and how we came to know the difference between what is considered justice and injustice.
But then when someone asks me for a counter-argument, I draw a blank. It’s like everything I’ve ever read concerning Creationism and how it relates to evolution and the rest of the world suddenly evaporated into thin air. That’s something I really need to work on, but I’m not sure how.
Anyway, so the last class of Botany was tonight because the last weeks of the semester we’re using to complete our final project and to study for our final examination. Our final project entails writing a pop science article for our choice of peer-reviewed published experiment discussed in class. I’m doing my project on Cuscuta pentagona (dodder plant). It doesn’t carry out photosynthesis and lacks chlorophyll, so it’s a really interesting specimen. One thing Botany has made me realize is how much nature screams the existence of a Creator. The systems are just too perfect and the evidence too obvious to say that all of it happened by chance. Just an accident? I don’t think so.
The rest of the week looks really exciting…and really busy! Tomorrow night I get to work out, which is fantastic because I’ve really been craving a good run for about five days now. I’m hoping to finish my term paper tomorrow, or at least get to be three-quarters finished rather than just half. My Critical Thinking & Writing class is taking a field trip to Unnameable Books and Le Gamin Cafe. I’m really psyched about it 😀 Who doesn’t love field trips?? Thursday night is Bible Study, which I’m also very excited about. Hanging out with my church people is the greatest; they all love the One that I love and encourage me towards Him, which is infinitely important to me. Also, I can relate to them, kid around with them, be crazy and not have to have my spiritual guard up as much as when I’m on campus. On Friday, I go back to help Jenny do some filing at the Christian school at church. Last time was rather comical; I apparently stole the hearts of some of the senior guys 🙂 Silly, silly people.
Finally, I get to go home next week! 😀 And eat real, homemade, Grandma-cooked food! I’m so excited right now! I can’t wait to see everyone and sleep in my own bed. I’ve found myself doing some of the things my mom usually does, like eating Ritz crackers plain and marking every single event I schedule on a calendar. That was one of the things my mom was always really into. Whenever we wondered if there was room in the week for something we wanted to do, her answer would always be, “Go check the calendar.” Or whenever she told us we had somewhere to be and we wouldn’t know what she was talking about, she’d say, “Well, it was on the calendar.” And we wouldn’t be able to say anything because she was totally right. Memories like this remind me that my parents actually kind of knew what they were doing. Or maybe that they didn’t really know what they were doing, but they did the best for me with what they knew and with what God had given them. I mean, nobody really knows what they’re doing when they get married, when they become parents, when they send their first kid off to college; it’s all a new experience for them. It’s kind of like when God sends you to do something that you’ve never done before or don’t feel like you’re capable of doing (like going to college in New York City). But remember: God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called 🙂
“The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.” —Proverbs 16:1, ESV