The thing, I think, I like most about my life is how perfect everything seems to happen. There are times of extremely awkward moments (often caused by me); there are times of cliche romance that exist only in books; there are times of divine revelation and points at which God takes me into a completely new realm of life, improving my skill as a soldier in His spiritual army. All of these are tied together by the truth of the gospel, by the knowledge that there is hope in this time of darkness, life in the expectation of death. Everything, no matter how out of the blue it may seem, fits perfectly into the puzzle that is my life.
All I can think about is how crazy and beautiful my life has become in just the past three months. As I packed my bag to head for the station, on my way home for Thanksgiving, I found myself experiencing a sensation of sadness, as if going home for the holidays was rather bittersweet considering the people I’m leaving behind in the city. I know it’s only for a handful of days, but I feel like this place has become my new home.
This thought brought about a series of other thoughts that brought me to one conclusion: wherever God is, wherever His children are, that is home to me. During this past summer I was visiting with my second family for a few days. During my visit I became incredibly sick; it was totally random. One day I was peppy and playing badminton and the next day i spent most of my time sipping on ginger tea and leaning over the toilet. Now, I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand getting sick away from home. That’s why I hated being sick at college, when my mom wasn’t there, when I was in a place that, while it had become somewhat familiar, just wasn’t home. Anyway, during that time while I was sick, I was lying on the bathroom floor, crying because my stomach was so upset.
“Daddy, can I just be done?” I whispered to God. I just didn’t want to be sick or in pain anymore. But in that moment, a peace suddenly came over me. Even though I wasn’t physically at home, even though I was physically comfortable, even though I felt alone, God was there. God is home. And that’s when I realized how comfortable I could be, wherever I was, as long as I knew God was with me.
The bus ride home was rather uneventful. I spent most of it listening to music, thinking, and talking to God. At one point I was reading Wisdom & Wonder and when I looked up and out of the window I noticed how much snow was on the ground. There is absolutely no snow in the city. I hadn’t realized how much snow my home had received!
By the time I arrived at the Binghamton bus station and then arrived at home, my heart was warmed by all of the familiarity of my hometown. The twisty road that leads into Main Street was the first thing. Then there was the churches, the Stewarts, Frankie’s Pizzeria, and finally my own house. As my mom pulled into the driveway, Tyler, my cousin, came running towards the car. It was an awkward and clumsy embrace but we were both super excited to see each other. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed everything.
So yep, I’m home now 🙂 I’m not sure what’s happening tomorrow, but I can’t wait for it.
I hope y’all get to be home for the holidays, and if not, at least with people you love 🙂
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” –1 John 3:1