Being Afraid of the Dark When I Am To Be The Light of the World

So, writing a spiritual allegory is much more difficult than I thought it would be. Granted, I knew it would be hard, but I never thought I’d get so caught up in the world I’m creating that I would forget what world I’m actually living in. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

My Shire got hammered with fat flakes of the white stuff from the early morning hours to right now as I’m writing this post. We shoveled in shifts: Mom shoveled first, then Gracie and Agnes, then me. Thankfully, the snow was light and fluffy instead of wet and cold. Yet even though the snow itself wasn’t all that cold, the temperature dropped below the teens and teetered between double and single digits. The roads were absolutely covered. A plow didn’t reach our road until the afternoon, which is a tell-tale sign that things are bad. Another way to tell (other than the obviously snow-covered roads and the numbness of your fingers and toes) that the weather is really bad is by what stores are closed in town. There’s a gas station called Stewarts right on Main Street, near the only traffic light. It used to be, back in the day, the Eagle Hotel, and from what I here from the town history buffs, a fine hotel at that. A fire burned it down, unfortunately, and Stewarts was built over top of it.

Anyway, Stewarts is always open. Today? Not so much. Mom and I braved the storm to go to the bank and Dollar General (we were going to walk but the temperature was too low…about eleven degrees), and when we did, after avoiding crashing into a garbage can and a few other things that are located ON THE SIDEWALK, we noticed Stewarts was closed; all of the lights were off; no one was in the parking lot. It was weird. You know the weather is really bad when Stewarts is closed.

I spent most of the day vegging, shoveling, attempting to get some writing done, washing dishes, putting away dishes, talking to Mom….so pretty much absolutely nothing. I began watching the Once Upon A Time series and I’m already wondering what in the world I’ve gotten myself into. Of all the fandoms out there, I am part of Merlin, Sherlock, Pride and Prejudice, The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Trek, and now, Once Upon A Time.

“But what about Dr. Who?”

Sorry…first episode I watched had manikins coming to life and stalking after people…along with caterpillars, manikins go under the list of irrational fears for me. 

As the day closed off and the night crept in, I realized that I was beginning to get paranoid about the dark. I don’t why; I haven’t been afraid of the dark since I was in middle school. That’s when I realized that my brain has subconsciously been wired to work like I’m in the world of my allegory, where Satan is physically there rather than an invisible adversary, where dark forces live in shadow and come out at night, where the spiritual battle I face every day is a real, physical battle, fought with swords, cleverness, and faith. I had to remind myself, after checking over my shoulder for the fifth time, that though I’m fighting a battle, the battle is not a physical one, but rather a spiritual battle that greatly effects the physical aspects of life. This is one of the many “dangers” of being a writer; sometimes you get so caught up in the story you’re trying to tell, the adventure you’re trying to explain, that you forget it’s only a story, an interpretation of reality, rather than reality itself.

The day ended officially just as the day began. The first thing I did, after starting my devotions, was ask God, “Why can’t things just be simple?” I feel like a lot of people ask this question, whether they’re Christian or not. Truth be told, if things were simple, life would be rather boring, don’t you think? I know I know, we could do without the frustrating complications and devastating heartache of broken relationships, even healthy relationships, death, poverty, distress, etc. But I think these complications and our reactions to them (whether it’s growth or succumbing to fear) are what make us human, are what bring out our obvious need for a savior. Thankfully, we have one; He came for us, so that even though we will have to face these complications, because we are complicated, frustrating, fickle human beings, we could experience peace beyond what we could ever imagine, strength beyond what we could possibly muster up on our own, and beauty beyond what our minds, eyes, and hearts could ever comprehend.

Thank You, Jesus, for complications 🙂

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”       —Matthew 5:14-16, ESV


About newminority16

Hi, my name is Hunter. I very often make random comments about bacon and how chocolate is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy :) So, before I started this blog, I was getting ready to make one of the biggest decisions of my life: college. God led me to go to a secular college in New York City, a place I was deathly afraid of. It's followed me through those years at college straight into married life and becoming a military spouse, all while seeking to following Christ and know God better and share Him with others. This blog is a way for you to go with me through these adventures, through being a Christian in a world that's forgotten its Creator.
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