God does this thing where even though it would be so easy just to be hopeless about everything, He gives you the opportunity to have faith rather than succumb to thinking, “welp, there’s nothing I can do about it; might as well give up.”
I never thought being home for a month between semesters (an intermission in the actual point of the blog, if you will) would be an adventure. I thought it would be a nice relaxing time when nothing happened…but then I remembered that I’m a daughter of the King of kings, therefore, my life is never boring 🙂
Through this break, this intermission, some things have been brought to the surface that hit me really hard, that made me wonder if I should even return to college for fear of anything changing while I’m gone. I was worried so much about things that I forgot God is more equipped to carry my burdens than I am…I forgot I can give them all up to Him.
This morning when I woke up, after a few nights of absolutely restless sleep filled with terrifying dreams, I finally found myself smiling, remembering just how great my life is, and that everything is going to be okay. God is pretty good at that, ya know, encouraging the ones He loves? He’s also good at listening. Sometimes people think it’s weird when I say, “I’m spending time with God,” or “I’m just talking to God.” Well, it may seem weird, but it’s probably the most comforting thing I can do in times of despair. Sometimes I want answers, desperately, but most times I just want to talk to Someone who can do something.
In certain situations, in most, actually, we’re helpless to change or fix our circumstances. So we worry. We worry so much that it turns our hair gray, what little hair we have left after tearing it out in anxiety. But the thing is, worrying STILL DOESN’T CHANGE ANYTHING. You’d think I’d know this by now. This morning, while I was talking to God, I kind of had to sit back and just breathe and give everything up to Him, because I can’t control it…I just can’t. And honestly, after seeing the damage I can do when I give in to my emotions, I’m really glad I’m not in control, but rather that God is.
I spent the day watching movies with friends. None of them are Christian, so that was kind of discouraging, but I love them nonetheless. One of my friends was nice enough to pick me up before and drive me home after the hang out, which was a total blessing. When I returned home later on, I found Mom and my siblings waiting up for me. My family is amazing…they really are. I guess I too often think of what things should be that I forget how amazing they are already.
Well, tomorrow I go skiing for the first time, and I can’t guarantee it’ll go well, mostly because I have no coordination and will more than likely make a complete fool out of myself…but hey, it’s an adventure 🙂 and I’m so glad, regardless of how painful or terrifying or uncomfortable my experiences have been, that I am loved by a God that desires me to partake in all things good and just and pure. When I remember this, I think of all the beautiful things I haven’t tried, and of all the time I have to try them 🙂 Thank You, Jesus.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” —Jeremiah 29:11