Well, it’s the day before classes start, and guess what I’m doing? Worrying, of course.
This morning I woke up on Jenny and Rebecca’s couch, confused as to where I was and why I was there. Everything became clearer, however, when I smelled bacon. I got up and saw that someone had left a plate of biscuits and bacon for me, since they’d all gone to work earlier that morning. I smiled and thanked God.
My devotional this morning, which I looked at before leaving, deciding to take more time to look at it and study it in my dorm room, was Isaiah 61:1: “He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives.” My devotional was written by Beth Moore, and she talked about how a lot of bondage experienced by people has to do with childhood trauma or victimization, any bonds personally experienced by the individual. I couldn’t think about it just yet, so I pocketed it in the back of my mind.
I washed the dishes, folded the blankets I’d used, put the couch back together, and then left the house to get to the subway. Nope, I typed everything correctly; I didn’t even change out of my pajamas. I know I know that’s so bad, but I was so tired and exhausted from the weekend, I just had one of those “I don’t really care about how I look” days. Yes, girls have those.
While I was sitting on the subway, I began pondering my devotional. Jesus said He’d been sent to “heal the brokenhearted” and “to proclaim liberty to the captives.” It made me think about the things I was letting keep me captive; worry, nervousness, fear, rationality, skepticism, analytical tendencies. I began to think further, about how perfect love casts out fear, and how God is perfect love…so if God loves me, and He’s perfect love, then why don’t I just let His love drown out my fears?
Granted, this truth is self-evident, it’s one of the many things that make up God’s amazingly unique character, but I need to be reminded of His love for me every once in a while, and because He’s so good at the art of loving, the master of this art, He reminds me as often as I breathe 🙂
Getting back into my dorm felt odd. Lin’s side of the room is completely cleared out of her things and I feel lopsided every time I walk into the room. I feel like Monk, only unlike his eating a perfectly symmetrical sandwich and tasting the symmetry, I cannot feel the symmetry of this room. Curse my self-diagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder.
I unpacked all of my things, went and grabbed more breakfast, did laundry accumulated over the weekend, showered and made myself presentable, and studied Isaiah 61. I didn’t realize that, in Isaiah, there’s an entire section devoted to prophesying exactly what Jesus will do however many books later when He comes to earth. What’s amazing about this realization is that everything prophesied in Isaiah about Jesus actually happened. I don’t know why I’m surprised by this, since the Bible is infallible word of God…it’s just really cool to see it 🙂
After writing a letter or two and making up the first ‘to do’ list of the semester, I skyped with my Mom and talked to her for a while. Then I remembered I have an interview tomorrow.
I’m so insanely nervous about my interview tomorrow…I’ve never done this before. BUT THEN!!! I remember that I don’t have to be nervous. If I don’t get the job, I don’t get the job. If God wants me to get the job, I will get the job. No matter what happens, God will take care of me, I will be okay.