Sometimes you wake up and feel like you’re on a mountain, overlooking some vast beautiful expanse of land stretching out in the wake of the sun…
Then you REALLY wake up and realize Rebecca is sitting at your feet, drinking French press, and you wonder why there’s a map of Pangea (actually Europe) on the wall above the couch you’re sleeping on.
The day was slow: the City was hit with lots of snow and ice, so we stayed inside all day. I made Belgium waffles for breakfast and the three of us talked about America, the real purpose of welfare, men, and politics.
My Bible study this morning was about experiencing God’s peace. I smiled when I saw this was the topic of the day, reflecting back to earlier days in the week and being reminded of how real and unique God’s peace is. I was brought to a verse in Matthew that hit me hard, even though I’ve read it over plenty of times.
Jesus is getting ready to heal two blind men, but before He does so, asks them, “Do you believe that I can do this?” (Matthew 9:28). When I read it, I had to sit back and think for a moment: do I believe that can do this, this whole life thing? Do I believe He can take care of everything I need? Do I believe He wants me to be free from my own bondage? Do I believe God is trustworthy enough to lead me in the right direction? Do I believe He has a plan for my life?
I smiled, laughing to myself.
Yes…yes I do.
Will I always remember? No. I’m still human. But can I depend on the Holy Spirit to remind me of the Truth? You bet.
My heart stirred, and even though the future is still uncertain, it’s getting easier to trust God with it. Again, emotional spells will come, but at least now I’ve learned how to fight them off, or how to let God fight them off for me. I think that’s a big part of it too; everybody wants to be so independent, so capable of being strong on their own and fighting their own battles and not needing anybody. But I’ve remembered that I can’t live life fully on my own. I’m not strong enough to refute my own feelings. I’m not capable of always knowing what to say or how to encourage somebody…but God is 🙂 I’m learning how to let God take the sword from me, and remind me who rescued whom.
After my devotions, I fell asleep for about three hours, which really isn’t surprising since I didn’t fall asleep until three in the morning and then woke up five hours later. I woke up and made myself some tea, surprisingly very at home as Rebecca and I talked about, well, pretty much everything 🙂
I’m just so blessed with these ladies. Later on Rosie, Heidi, and Dina joined the three of us as we bustled about. I read and watched Dina play The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. I’ve never actually seen the game in action but I’ve heard nothing but good things about it.
At one point Jenny was calling from the kitchen about how tiring it was to have me over, obviously teasing me, and as she said this, these terrifying, slimy, black monsters came out of nowhere on the video game and Dina and I screamed bloody murder. Dina was yelling “oh my gosh they’re eating me alive!” and I was yelling “Die die die die die!!”
Yes, very tiring.
We all got dolled up and headed over to Antoinette and Grace’s house for a Galentine’s Day party (galentine is a term coined by Rebecca, meaning “single ladies’ valentine’s day”…yeah). We ate food, I kept falling over things and spilling things and I was really embarrassed, wondering why inanimate objects were so drawn to my limbs and hips, making me knock them over. But everyone made me feel loved with brutal and incessant teasing, so it was all good 🙂
We played a game called Cranium, which I knew of but had never played. It was a lot of fun 🙂 it was innocent. We ended the long day with watching a movie, helping clean up, and then heading home. Overall, Valentine’s Day weekend was a blast, and I didn’t even have a Valentine 🙂
God does this thing where He makes me feel absolutely complete in just being in a relationship with Him. Now I know that a lot of single Christians say this, that God is having them wait for the right person or that it’s not the right time. These are possible and probable reasons for being single, but honestly, it’s okay if that “right person” doesn’t exist for me. And even though I’m young and I have my whole life ahead of me, I would be okay with just having friends, being with God and growing in Him, really. God is so filling…every love–from friends, from family, from guardians—outside of God’s love for me is absolute overflow. He is enough. But I guess whether or not God has the “right person” out there isn’t really my call. I can’t tell God how things are gonna go down. But for now I’ll live in single bliss, enjoying God, growing in Him, and preparing for the many adventures that I know will come 🙂