There’s a biblical truth that I’ve heard almost all my life but never really understood until the last week or so. God takes bad things, sinful things, and turns them into good things. I know this is a no-brainer, but it’s kind of like using the word lovely all the time and never really knowing what it means, never knowing if something is truly lovely or not.
Last night I tried to get to sleep by eleven o’clock, because I had to wake up around six the next morning. Midnight came. One in the morning came. Two in the morning. Three.
By three o’clock I had given up trying to sleep and took my Bible study and Bible and journal to the lounge, because Bree was asleep and I didn’t want to wake her. I curled up on one of the lounge couches, covering myself in a blanket, and began writing to God about everything that was on my heart, from what we learned in Bible Study that night, to boys, to the future, to emotions, to home. My body was tired enough that my brain began to slow down, so instead of freaking out and stressing over everything that needed to be done, I was able to just enjoy hanging out with God, which I hadn’t had time to do in a long time. Granted, I always enjoy hanging out with God, but I hadn’t had time to just sit down and bask in His presence, just relax with Him, talk with Him.
I walked back into my dorm around four-thirty in the morning, knowing even if I went to sleep right away and slept until seven instead of six I would only get two and a half hours of sleep. The last time I stayed up that late I ended up sleeping until one in the afternoon. Before I went to bed, I prayed most fervently that God would get me up at the right time and give me enough brain power to get myself to the bus station and on the right bus.
Seven in the morning rolls around and I wake up, exhausted but moving. My shirt collar and shoulders were soaked with sweat (gross, I know), which must mean I had a nightmare last night. Regardless of this possibility, I know God was watching over me while I slept, and not in the creepy sparkly vampire way, but in the Ultimate Defender, Mighty Protector way that He does everything. That’s another thing I’ve been learning and solidifying: just because I go to sleep doesn’t mean God goes away. He’s there with me then as He is always. It’s just a neat thing to think about 🙂
When I hopped on the G-train headed towards Manhattan, there was a man on the subway going on about how he’d been a professional singer back in the day, and, considering his age, it was very possible. He began to sing “My Girl” by the Temptations, on key and with great bravado. When it came to the part where he had to sing “my girl” he paused to see if anyone would sing it.
Well, I did.
“My girl!” I sang out loud and off key.
Everyone around me laughed and smiled, taking out their headphones and watching the spectacle. The man sitting next to me began to tap his foot and clap lightly. We continued on in that way until I finally left the G to transfer to the A. What a nice way to start the day, I thought.
I arrived at the bus station two hours before my bus left, just as I had planned. I wanted to be sure I knew where I was going. I printed out my tickets and found my terminal. Because I had so much time, I wandered around looking for somewhere to grab breakfast. In the end I gave up because I was afraid I would end up paying one hundred dollars for a bagel and some OJ because my thoughts were so fuzzy and my body was so tired. I instead munched on a protein bar stored in my backpack.
The moment I got onto the bus, the moment the bus started moving, I plugged in my headphones and fell into a deep sleep as Casting Crowns and Aaron Shust sang God’s praises in my ears. I woke up an hour later, feeling completely comfortable and at peace. I spent the rest of the three hour ride to Binghamton listening to music and silently talking to God. It was the most comfortable I’ve been for a very long time.
I got onto a different bus to head to Norwich and I met a man who reminded me of the male version of my grandma. We talked and he said he was from Oxford. When I told him where I was from he knew exactly where I was talking about. We discussed wrestling, talked about The City, brought up experiences, and swapped stories about our favorite dogs until the bus was ready to depart.
I arrived in Norwich an hour later and my father and siblings greeted me with Dunkin’ hot chocolate and a glazed donut. We listened to Josh Turner and Toby Keith on the way home, smelling cow manure and maneuvering the twisting roads that slithered between beautiful hills and underneath rays of sun. I couldn’t help but smile 🙂
When I walked in the door I found that the entire living room had been renovated to look like something from Architectural Digest, and I was shocked. My father had completely redone the room and it looked amazing.
My Mom did what moms do best and, after listening to me explain my day and what my schedule looks like, told me to go take a nap. I think I slept for about two hours. It was much needed. When I woke up, Stephen was home and had ordered Frankie’s for everybody along with ice-cream from Stewart’s. We watched The Hunger Games: Catching Fire and then, at eleven at night, I started making pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, because late at night and early in the morning seems to be the optimum time for baking 😛
Tomorrow I go on yet another road trip to visit the Brocks for the weekend, and I’m very excited 🙂
Sometimes I think “Wow, God has been really amazing lately,” but then I realize that God is amazing all the time, I just don’t always see it. The only thing that changes in me and God’s relationship is me. He always blesses me this much…I just don’t always pay close enough attention.
My professors assigned oodles of homework for over break and my body is still very worn out, but I’m….well, I’m happy 🙂 I’m really excited about everything, about what God has planned for me, about what will happen in the next few days, weeks, months, years, and about how it all fits into God’s perfect plan. It’s just amazing to know that I’m part of something so infinitely bigger and so much more important than me.
God is good 🙂