Sometimes the whole Internet thing really gets to my head, the idea that people gain popularity and a name via blogging, Twitter, google plus, etc.
But then I remember why I write, why I blog in the first place, and every once in a while, when I feel like I’m blogging for the wrong reason or, stepping outside of writing, even when my motivations behind an act of kindness are wrong (for my own glory instead of for God’s), I sometimes have to just not blog, not write, not even do that act, because my heart’s not in the right place.
So I’ll sit back, pull out my journal, and remind myself of who I am in Christ and who He expects me to be. I’m reminded that hiding my faith or trying to be subtle are not the ways by which a daughter of the King was made to live. She was made to love.
*Sigh* it’s just too easy in this world to forget why you’re even doing what you’re doing, too easy to fall into something without seeing the hole, too easy to be cut without seeing a blade. But then of course there are times when you’re holding the knife, and you realize you’ve set yourself up.
That’s pretty much what I did over Spring “Break,” break in quotations as in I didn’t let it be an actual break. I packed my schedule so full and drank so much coffee and fed my body so much bad food that by Thursday I was a mess, like a cat dunked in water, put into a snow bank, locked in a dark room with no light, and then put under a bright light. It was bad.
Time for relaxation is important. Coffee is bad. Lesson learned…hopefully.
Today was actually really nice. I woke up this morning and did my Bible study, which was all about how we as individuals are seen as the bride of Christ. I’m not sure how guys feel about this, but I know how I felt upon reading it: I felt beautiful.
You know how I was talking about how easy it is to forget who you are? Well, for a spell, under the influence of caffeine and exhaustion, I had completely forgotten that I’m a princess. Not to sound egotistical, but once you’re adopted into God’s family, that’s exactly what you are: royalty.
I forgot that I’m part of the royal family, that I’m expected to act and love a certain way, that I’m set free from everything that weighs me down. If I had remembered that during this past week, things might’ve turned out a bit differently. But alas, it’s over, and God still used it despite my idiocy. I’m so glad He’s not limited by my mistakes, otherwise we would get nowhere 🙂