In nearly everyone’s life, there comes a moment when even the most rational, intelligent, capable human beings are incapable of explaining an emotion or feeling away. When your heart is broken, and when one thing after another slams against it and you have no time to stand up and defend yourself, you discover just how human you are.
It’s easy, in these moments, even if the events extracting the negative but necessary emotions like fear, worry, pain, sadness, and regret are not that devastating, to think that the world is going to end. You’re going to go to sleep and some catastrophe is going to take place over night, making you incapable of waking up in the morning. Or you’re just going to keel over from all of the pain and frustration you’re experiencing.
Well, I have good news for you: the world is not going to end 🙂
Today I experienced a lot of these feelings, mostly taking things WAY too seriously and seeing my emotions as FAR bigger than they actually are, but I was experiencing them nonetheless.
The world is going to end
I’m going to cause the end of the human race
My life is totally over
Yeah, it was pretty bad.
My mom, while we were at my younger cousin’s softball game, looked at me and asked, “Hunter, is there anything God can’t handle?” and my answer was absolutely ridiculous, because I was totally doubting and giving into everything Satan and my emotions were dishing out.
Later on, while I was thinking, after the final blow had been dealt to my heart, I realized that I was being totally ridiculous. Are emotions bad? No. Is feeling pain and sadness a sign of weakness? Goodness no! Emotions are necessary and important. God is an emotional God and gave us emotions so that we might understand what it means to enjoy Him and be fulfilled. But it’s when I allow my emotions to undermine God’s power in my life that they become a problem.
As I thought, I wrote. If everything burns and I fall and fail (which I feel like I have in light of my recent decisions), even if dreams shatter and hope is destroyed, even if this life amounts to nothing, even if tons of people get hurt and all connections of love are severed and friends are betrayed and family members confused, even if I turn away from God forever and never come back, even if this time of confusion takes its toll on me and uproots the entire foundation of my faith and therefore my life, God will still win.
Granted, all of the worst-case scenarios I just presented are not going to happen as a result of my emotions. God loves me too much to let me go so easily. But the point is that even in this moment, the destruction of my pride and the changing of my life and heart will not hinder God’s will or thwart His plan for the rest of humanity. Satan might just stop me, he might win with my earthly life, I just might fail, but he’ll never beat God, he’ll never win…God will be victorious, no matter what.
Even if God’s truth has been distorted in my mind and blurred in my heart, what’s really His truth will win out in the end. The war doesn’t end with me, or you, for that matter. The world doesn’t stop turning because of a decision I made. Lives aren’t kept from God’s truth because of my sinful and confused humanity….God can’t be kept in a box made by my decisions.
I think I just need to stop taking things so seriously (I can see a lot of readers rolling their eyes and saying “ya think?”) 😛 But when you’re in this point in your life when you feel like every decision you make will affect the course of your life, you tend to take things pretty seriously….or, at least I do 😛
But God has everything under control, He can handle this, even though I put myself in this position to begin with. There really is nothing God can’t handle. From relationships to shopping, from grilling to the mission field, from child-rearing to school, and from traveling to politics, God is in it all, His hand is in it all, His purpose is in it all. He’s got this.
Are my emotions still pretty big? Yes. Are they being brought down to size? Most definitely. God is greater than my heart and I trust that He can quiet my emotions down until I can see Him in them again. It might take a little while, but I have confidence that God is working in this, even though I can’t quite see Him.
“For God is not a God of confusion, but a God of peace.”
—1 Corinthians 14:33a, ESV