I honestly think welve-year-old little brothers find genuine enjoyment out of being as annoying as they can possibly manage. It’s like the only they can communicate is through the most frustratingly taunting noises and words and facial expressions imaginable. Oh, you’re watching Pride and Prejudice and it’s the moment when Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth are embracing with the coming sunrise? Allow me to moo like a cow and then scream like a little girl at a One Direction concert. You’re telling Mom about the guy you like? Allow me to tell you to calm down and then gesture with my hands the level of drama that you’re at and where I think you need to be. You’re on Pinterest, commenting on a cute Michael Kors bag? Allow me to tell you that your laugh reminds me of a chipmunk who took too many bonks to the head when he fell from a tree last week, and then tell you that the bag is too expensive and then demand you buy me ice-cream.
Disregarding all of these things, however, little brothers are by far one of the most wonderful things in the world. Jimmy warms my heart with his sincerity and his sweetness (when he chooses to exercise it), and I love having the opportunity to see him grow into a gentleman, grow into a man after God’s own heart. While he has plenty of time to grow up, I can already see who he’s going to be, and seeing this makes loving him and nurturing him much easier.
Also, both my brother and my sister offer a great opportunity for me to apply God’s truth to my life in the way of how I treat them. Gracie’s my sister, and Jimmy’s my brother, and they’re both in their teen/pre-teen years, and they’re constantly butting heads. What better opportunity to exercise patience and understanding and self-control? God has given me a Spirit that bears all of these things, why not let it bear them? 😀
Today was a great writing day, one of those days where I woke up half in the writing world and half in the real world (I know that sounds absolutely insane, but if you’re a writer, you totally understand what I’m saying). So I got up and wrote to God. As of yesterday I’ve been feeling like a such a doofus, because I’ve been having a week where I can’t speak correctly and I speak before I think, so I say some pretty ridiculous things and look, as I told my friend Alex, like I have the brain of a mentally-handicapped squirrel.
I wrote for a couple of hours, doing housework during my breaks, and eventually opening up my journal once again when I remembered the truth: I don’t have to feel ridiculous or stressed just because I say stupid things, because I speak impulsively. Peter spoke impulsively throughout his relationship with Jesus Christ. I mean, in Matthew chapter 17, during the Transfiguration, Jesus took Peter, James, and John (His brother) up on a high mountain and met with Elijah and Moses. Here’s this amazing thing that’s happening, where two great prophets long since deceased are conversing with the Messiah, and this is what Peter says:
“Lord, it is good that we are here. If you wish, I will make three tents here, one for you and one for Moses and one for Elijah.” (v. 4). It’s like, Peter, really? But I can imagine myself doing the exact same thing in that situation, totally missing the glory and beauty and mystery of what’s going on right in front of me and saying something unnecessary and ridiculous. And then, when he claims that he, above all of the other disciples, will NOT deny Christ, and then denies Him three times within a handful of hours.
It’s easy to look at Peter and see how ridiculous he is, but when I look at my own actions and how I speak sometimes, I am Peter. I speak impulsively and I speak ridiculously. And just when I think I’m the most ridiculous person on the face of the planet, without any hope of being demoted from president of the Socially Awkward Girls’ Club, I read what God did with Peter, how He made Peter’s character fit his name, which means ‘rock’. I mean, I’m not saying I want God to make my character fit the meaning of my name, but I can hope that God will either cure me of my awkwardness, or use it (like He already has) to remind me that I need Him, that His opinion is the only one that matters, that social awkwardness is nothing to be worried about, because He loves me just the same 🙂
Also, thankfully, He is so above the limitations of my character that it’s not even funny. Seriously.
When everybody came home, Gracie very kindly treated us to Chinese food for dinner. We ordered in and watched Secretariat, spending time together as a family without fighting, without annoying each other, without anything. Just laughter, fun, and genuine relaxation. It was wonderful 🙂
After the movie, I studied my Bible with Jimmy and Gracie, and continued to read through my counselor packet (I’m trying to take it in bits and pieces). We eventually went outside and played soccer for awhile. At one point I jumped onto our trampoline and skinned both of my knees. I also, somehow, got mud on my arms and legs. I was a bit of a mess when we came inside because of the lightning 😛
The more I read about being a counselor, the clearer picture I have of just how difficult and challenging it’s going to be. But, regardless of the challenge, it’s an adventure that I get to go on with God, and it’s a privilege that He’s put me in a place where I get to experience it 🙂 I can’t wait. This upcoming weekend will also be an adventure. My cousin, who’s a year behind me and lives in Ohio, just graduated, and we’re driving out to attend his graduation party. I’m excited to see that part of my family, since I haven’t seen them in a very long time it seems. I’m also excited about the long car ride there with my family. It’s odd: not many people like spending extended periods of time in vehicles, but I really like road trips 🙂 I especially like road trips with my family, because we’re all together.
“A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.” —Proverbs 18:19, ESV