This life is kind of wonderful, ya know?
I know things don’t always go as planned, and I know some times things are lacking (money, food, sleep, time, energy), and some times things are hard (the death of a loved one, rejection, uncertainty), but when it comes right down to it, God has given us a pretty wonderful place to live, and no matter what horrible things happen, He’s still as good as He was yesterday, still as loving and as strong and as sure as He was last week. He’s just……yeah 🙂
This morning when I woke up (I got to sleep in! 😀 ) and I sat down at my desk to talk to God and do my Bible Study, I found myself just being excited about everything He’s brought about. I’m getting to cook Thanksgiving dinner this year, which is a lot of fun, not just because it involves food (which is ALWAYS a good reason to do most anything), but because I’m getting to cook for my family and I get to be a part of the bringing together of my brothers and sister and parents, and that’s just really exciting to me 🙂 This year, I’m determined to not freak out and run around the kitchen when I have to reach inside the bird to grab the *shudder* giblets. I kill cockroaches, skin fish after pulling them out of a lake with a makeshift pole, clean grime and gook and all kinds of nastiness from all kinds of different surfaces, and yet I have a problem with pulling out the neatly packaged organs from inside an already-butchered holiday bird. Go figure.
Still! I shall prevail!
The sun was out this morning, and the air was crisp, and everyone back home was talking about snow and such and it made me remember that it’s November, and that God makes the seasons beautiful 😀
I spent most of the day talking to Him, reading His word, doing homework. I went and bought lunch, came back, and did the same. God has truly blessed me with Saturdays, because I literally almost never have any obligations and can use them to recharge and prepare for the week to come.
Around six I went and worked out and left knowing I’d be awfully sore in the morning, but that usually means the workout was a good one 😛 Afterwards I talked to Hannah, chatted with Alex, and continued to do homework 🙂
God is teaching me, again, the importance of being vulnerable, the pointlessness of worry, and the insignificance of the unknown. I’m struggling with just letting go, it seems, in a certain situation, which I’ve never been in before. I’m fighting against worry and fear and even impatience. But God is good, and has given me a weapon with which to win.
It’s funny. I was thinking today as I had a slightly awkward moment for a manual to life. Then I was like “Wait a second, isn’t that what my Bible is?” Oh, right. 🙂 While it’s obvious that the Bible doesn’t explicitly say “This is how you talk to boys” or “This is where you need to go to buy your organic kale” or “Whole Foods carries divine chocolate,” it does show me who I am, it does answer all of the existential questions that so many people in the world are asking. The Bible does tell me what to do, and most importantly it tells me about its Author, and He uses that word to talk to me, to tell me how to act, how to come to Him, even how to love, be kind, trust, and thrive in the most dire situations. And then of course I wonder how I even thought I was without help, without direction, without defense, without a Commander.
But I am a solider in the spiritual army of God, a warrior fighting not against flesh and blood, against humanity, but against the unseen world, in a very real battle, and while I might fall down, and I might fail, and I might be beaten and torn and tried and tricked, though I will mess up and be overwhelmed by own incapabilities and sometimes overtaken by my own fear, God is still good, and He will give me the strength to stand back up, to stand firm, and fight again.
“Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.” —Micah 7:8, ESV