This is what happened:
Last night, once classes were over and the effects of my three hours of sleep had almost completely worn off, Karly and I met up to work out. I just want to say how absolutely grateful I am that God sent me somewhere with a great weight room, dance studio, and tons of classes to take and workouts to go through to give me the opportunity to take care of the body He’s given me. It’s really awesome….like, really.
Anyway, Karly and I went through our workouts, ending with jumping lunges and jumping squats smack dab in the midst of a large number of guys lifting. We were laughing and smiling, so I would imagine the scene was rather comical 🙂
Afterwards, we grabbed a couple of basketballs and headed into the court, just to shoot around, cool down, ya know. Well, before either of us can even take a shot, Pratt’s athletic director came over to us and talked to us about our maybe joining the women’s basketball team, and before I knew it, there we were, filling out paperwork and putting down our uniform sizes.
And that’s what happened.
Today at the internship, I was exhausted (because I hadn’t eaten any protein yesterday, nor any for breakfast), and fell into the danger of falling asleep right at my computer. But I went through the day, reading queries and mailing things and silently talking to God.
This morning I realized that I’ve done something awfully stupid. Sometimes I do this thing where I expect a little bit too much of people, and what I mean by that is I subconsciously expect people to be perfect. Yikes! And then I don’t realize I’ve done it until they behave in a way that didn’t fit my definition of perfection. Granted, I wasn’t devastated this time, as I sometimes am, but I did feel rather silly.
I find this interesting because on Tuesday at church Pastor told us that expecting perfection of yourself, of others, of circumstances, or of anything or anyone other than God is a pointless goal that will leave you constantly discouraged. And I know this all too well. But it’s never the other person’s fault; they’re just being themselves. It’s mine for expecting them to bear a burden they were never meant to bear.
I also find this interesting because in Bible Study, Beth Moore is talking about how we react when God doesn’t behave the way we think He ought to, or when He doesn’t “obey” us, so we choose not to obey Him. And while that might seem silly and obviously insane, I can honestly say I have to fight that battle all the time, fighting saying “this wasn’t supposed to happen” or “this can’t be part of Your plan.” It all comes back to sifting out the Truth shrouded in all the lies, and God is good at being a light in the fog 🙂
So, because of this, thing, my mind and heart are shifting rather dramatically, but God is using it almost like a wake up call, reminding me that He can’t fit into my mold because He’s too big, and too powerful, and too vastly beyond my comprehension. In other words, when God does something in my life that I don’t understand, I can be certain that He’s acting out of His character, which is perfect, solid, and complete in itself. No matter what happens, God is still God, and He’s still good, and I can bank on that 🙂
I came back to the dorm after the internship and found a text from Karly saying that there was basketball practice at 6:00pm.
It was 5:50pm.
I was a tornado as I changed and packed my athletic bag and grabbed water and locked the door. And I was off.
In a matter of minutes after meeting the coach and the assistant coach I was given practice gear and ten minutes to shoot and warm up and stretch out. And then there was practice, and I was reminded how much I missed being part of a team and working hard for a common goal. It was awesome 🙂
Also, due to finals and projects and such, I’ve really had to go out of my way to make time to work out (because if I don’t I’ll go absolutely insane, though I’m not sure if it’s so far from where I am now 😛 ) and it was getting more difficult to sacrifice time to do that instead of working on homework or sleeping or just hanging out with God. But then this happened, and practice is held on the nights that I usually workout anyway, the same amount of time, in the same place 🙂 But my Dad taught me to stay dedicated to a team, to anything once I made the commitment, and God reinforced this teaching, so unlike working out on my own, I’ll always be at practice and will be working hard, which is a comfortable prospect 🙂
Also, the first game is on Monday, and I’ll be playing in it….
There’s a large temptation in my life right now to step away from a certain situation completely because I expected people in the situation to be perfect…it’s tempting to shoot someone down or write someone off because they didn’t behave the way you thought they would. But here I am yet again, in a situation that requires me to lean on God to right my thinking and to show me to approach things with “we’ll see” instead of “never.” It’s a new thing for me, to pursue a possibility instead of clamming up and backing down, to push forward in danger of being hurt or disappointed instead of staying safe in practicality and logical reasoning.
This is a whole new game, but my Coach is the same 🙂