I get a lot of excitement out of creating worlds. I absolutely love spending time with a character and learning who they are, putting them in different situations to see how they react and how they grow. I love constructing spaces and environments and homes for them to live in. And part of me, whenever I do this, whenever I make worlds with pen and paper, wonders if I’m experiencing a very small, imperfect glimpse of what God thought and felt when He created the world at the very beginning of time, when He made it, knowing we’d be the ones to live in it. I mean, if I’m made in the image of God, and if I harbor, however imperfectly and incompletely, even a small speck of His magnificent creativity, and I experience such joy in just writing and creating a story, how much more joy and love and excitement did He experience when creating the world?
Just a thought 🙂
For most of the nights this week, I’ve been haunting the library, living as a hermit surrounded by books and listening to Kutless and thinking about nothing. Yep. I actually sat and pretty much thought about completely nothing. I think I just extroverted for too long (talked to people all day long and studied in public places where I was surrounded by people and discussed and reasoned and debated with people almost every day) and my brain and heart were just worn out. So I introverted and stayed in the almost totally undisturbed air of the campus library, and it was very refreshing 🙂
I’ve learned, just in this past week what it means to discuss, like, really discuss religious and spiritual matters, not just argue. Ever since freshman year at Pratt, I’ve begun to see that discussing and discussing graciously and discussing matters in a way that glorifies God is much more than just being right. It’s done with the virtual intent of glorifying and honoring the One about whom two (or more) people are talking. It’s done with the intent of genuinely trying to understand where the other person is coming from and then going from there with an argument or a main point of discussion, keeping the goal of a better understanding of truth and of God’s character and of His word as the focal point.
And after discussing things with Kat and Alex and Bree in Bible Study, and debating with my other classmates when they stop to talk, and getting a better understanding of where some of them are coming from, I’ve seen how important it is for me to approach these things not as someone with all the answers, but more as someone who’s willing to look for them, always going back to God’s word for both solutions and foundation, explanation and clarification, support and wisdom, and, above all, patience and perspective.
Hard things or things that would often be uncomfortable are much easier to look at, take, handle, discern, and thrive underneath when I remember that they’re not about me. Do I always do this? Pssh, of course not 😛 that’s part of the reason why I’ll always need God, the main reason because I’m just not whole or complete without Him. I can’t do it by myself, “it” being life and school and everything else, and, ultimately, He’s the only One who actually knows what’s going on in the first place 🙂
Meanwhile, I would like to say, after doing some research, really just a little in the scope of all that could be and will be done, that faithful military wives are some of the strongest people on the face of the planet. The way they pull together and support each other, the way they’re so willing to let others know what their lives and the lives of their husbands are like is absolutely and completely unbelievable. But they do it.
Last night, I found myself watching (I believe) the most recent Saints and Soldiers movie, called The Void. All of these films, of which I think there are three total, are religiously-themed war movies taking place during WWII, focusing on the participation of American troops during different parts of the war. When one of the soldiers mentioned K and C rations, I was excited that I knew exactly what he was talking about 😀
There are so many wonderful things going on right now, but I don’t feel like I can go into any detail about any of them because they’re so, well, giant and big and crazy wonderful but also really hard all at the same time.
I’m learning to be selfless when everything in me wants to be selfish; uncomfortably bending my will towards God’s and parking on that, refusing to move; being patient when I want things to be a certain way at a certain time; obeying when it would be easier to go forward in what I think is right, in what I think is best for me, and learning why and how it’s just not; trusting God with things I never thought I’d ever have to give to Him, and seeing Him, with both His goodness and His severity, handle them in a way that makes me want to trust Him with more until there’s just nothing left; leaning on Him when my mind is saying something different, and letting Him cradle my heart when hard things happen, and having Him build up the endurance of both to be able to handle harder things and more intense battles; pulling from His love and patience and understanding when I feel drained and have none left to give to someone who desperately needs it. And living in this present moment, which I have never, in all of my life, been able to do. I have always lived in the future in the worst way, yet here I am, settling into right now. And man, I just love these days 🙂 not because all of them are perfect, but because they are genuinely wonderful and good in all of their madness.
And to think, I get to just go with Him, just follow Him in the life He has for me 🙂 I get to spend the rest of my life learning how to trust Him, seeing the light and hope in someone’s eyes when they hear that, yeah, there’s really hope in Him when all hope seems to be gone, learning how to love Him and be loved by Him and how to love others, exploring the depths of His character and immersing myself in the pursuit of the knowledge of all that He is, and knowing with confidence in the confidence of faith that He’s there the whole way, with me, through it all 🙂
“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
—Ephesians 4:1-3, ESV