Emma Woodhouse is a charming young woman about my age who lives well under her wealthy father’s roof. Her best friend is Mr. Knightley and her mentee is Harriet Smith. With these two characters in particular, Emma tries to manipulate a situation with her supposed match-making skills and ends up falling flat on her face when the man with whom she was trying to set up Harriet ends up being head over heels (in a creepy, very much unwelcomed way) for Emma instead. She feels awful and absolutely foolish. What’s worse is she imagines that her best friend, Mr. Knightley, thinks her to be an idiot and incapable of any sort of rational thought…
Today, I am Emma Woodhouse.
No, I didn’t try to match anyone up. No, I didn’t end up being pursued by some man who I thought was interested in a girl with whom I’m close friends. But I did try to jump in and control and fix a situation in which I had no business being, and, yep, I fell flat on my face.
Ironically enough, one of the first things I ever blogged about was a situation in which I pretty much did the same thing. But thankfully, I listened to what God had to say on the matter before trying to jump up and fix the situation until it was broken again. I had tried to fix a situation, it broke, so I automatically felt the need to fix that again. But God asked me to wait, and told me He’d give me an opportunity to right a wrong, that He’d heal it up, that He’d take care of it, if I would only trust Him.
Here, however, I plunged head first into what I thought was the right thing to do, not thinking “Gee, maybe I should talk to God about this first before I try to do anything,” and I didn’t realize the pool was shallow and I knocked my forehead on the bottom.
This morning I talked to God about how I couldn’t understand how He could use me. I couldn’t understand why He would use me, because I’m just such a mess, and I do things like Emma Woodhouse did. I mean, sure, He could use Elijah, who was always either sarcastic or freaking out about something. Yeah, He could use Paul, who was killing Christians and cursing them when Christ blinded him. Okay, yes, He could use Jacob, who tricked and cheated until he wrestled with a certain Someone who taught him a lesson in hip dislocation. But me?
“‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with my weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
—2 Corinthians 12:9-10